DeviantArt
Filed under: notebooks
the cover is pink silk, with strings of red and white flowers, every page is fresh and clean and virgin, lovely. pretty, but not so pretty you don’t want to ruin everything by writing in it. there’s nothing like the feeling of a new notebook. i spent hours in stationary shops yesterday trying to find just the right thing for the new term at college, which edges closer and closer, the new new new beginning, and i think i’ve found it. this notebook will be something wonderful. a place to keep the things that excite me, on nice comfortable little A5 pages. and A5 is the best size, definitely.
ooh
The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
I am under seige. And as usual when my own reality is threatened, I squeeze myself into the smallest space possible. I am writing this from my wardrobe, probebly a few days before it’ll get to my blog. there’s a peice of paper bluetacked to the wall here, with a poem on it, ‘love after love’ it must have been years ago i put it here, but i know now why i had to keep it, so i could find it today. and it’s such a comfort to me. i feel as if everything inside of me is changing, and i don’t know who i’ll be when it’s over, like a belated or second puberty. sat in the bath with my knees pulled into my chest, thinking how funny my feet look under the water, i do my best not to look at my body, because it’s not mine, and i can’t understand how it got here. i’m down the rabbit hole now. i’m picking up speed. darkness light darkness. jars.
